Good work (I guess) if you can get it

I had seen that a fairly prominent job came open today, and even though it's not one I'd be qualified for, I figured I'd look at the want ad, just to see what they are seeking.

WANTED: ENGLAND MANAGER -- Historic Football Association seeks genius to lead its national football side, effective immediately, as an important competition is soon at hand.


The successful candidate will be able to choose the right blend of multimillionaires to be victorious while being willing to share in certain decisions without (too much) complaint. Every game will be a referendum on his intelligence, decision-making skills, dress, taste in women, speaking manner, family heritage and preferences for after-match beverages.


Ability to feed a ravenous media beast in service of citizens who remember 1966 like it was yesterday, even if they weren't born yet, is non-negotiable.


Being English is a plus, but not required, although there will always be people who think it should be a requirement, including possibly ... us.


Ability to speak German not needed, but ability to beat Germany is (along with Brazil, Argentina, Spain, France, the United States and anyone else England has fought a war against, which is pretty much everybody).


Benefits include competitive pay and contractual terms ... if you last that long ... and godlike status if you bring home big, shiny trophies.


To apply, send CV and plan for how Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard can play together.

Wow, that looks like one taxing job!