If only the Chargers had a unicorn that shot ice cream out its nose

A friend of mine had this question on Facebook this morning:

"I ask this of any San Diego Chargers fans out there -- how much would you give to have Drew Brees and Darren Sproles back in San Diego?"

He later added "with Sean Payton as your head coach?"

Given where we both live, I'm going to assume by "San Diego Chargers fans," he meant me.

In a way, what he says makes sense, since the Saints are going to the playoffs with Payton as coach, and Brees did set the single-season yardage record last night on a pass to Sproles. Of course, if a runner gets thrown out stealing and the batter then hits a home run, it also makes sense in a way to cry out, "If only he hadn't gotten thrown out stealing, it would have been a two-run homer!"

In other words, it makes sense if you're into overly simplistic thinking.

First, Brees. After the 2005 season, Brees was a free agent, and Philip Rivers was waiting on the bench for a chance to play after having been acquired in the Eli Manning trade during the previous year's draft. Brees was also injured, having torn his labrum in the final game of the season.

So the Chargers let Brees go to the Saints, and made Rivers the starter.

Before Brees left, I would have been OK with the Chargers auctioning off Rivers in order to maximize the Manning trade, which also netted Shawne Merriman and Nate Kaeding for a whiny child with a whiny father who never wanted to play in San Diego, anyway. But what would have happened if the Chargers kept Brees, traded Rivers and then Brees couldn't come back?

Yeah, that would have been a disaster.

Side note: How much would Dolphins fans give to have Brees in their lineup? They were interested, but traded for the washed-up Daunte Culpepper instead, although you have to give them a certain benefit of the doubt because of Brees' bad shoulder.

As for Sproles, I loved him for what he was -- a terrific return man and pass-catcher out of the backfield. However, in spite of moments of brilliance, he was never going to be the lead running back, but if the Chargers kept using the franchise tag on him, they would have needed to keep paying him like one. So they let him go to New Orleans, where he plays pretty much the same role he did with San Diego.

Turning to Payton, he got the Saints job after the 2005 season, a season in which the Chargers finished 9-7. It wasn't great, and they missed the playoffs, but it's not usually the kind of record that causes a team to fire its coach (who, by the way, was Marty Schottenheimer, not Norv Turner).

Furthermore, the Brees/Sproles discussion misses an important point.

The Chargers lost both of them (along with running backs Michael Turner and LaDainian Tomlinson), but are doing OK at those positions now.

Granted, Rivers hasn't had a particularly good season this year (in spite of the Pro Bowl selection), but he has been a high-level NFL quarterback. Ryan Mathews has also had an excellent year, Mike Tolbert provides another quality option at running back.

What I would give, however, is to see Clay Matthews in a Chargers uniform. It could have happened, but he fell to the Packers with the 26th pick in the 2009 draft, 10 picks after the Chargers chose Larry English, who has the grand total of seven career sacks playing the same position.

But Matthews didn't do something exciting on "Monday Night Football" last night.