Those stupid kids ... screwing it up for their parents

A lot of what passes for "anger" among sports fans is actually passion. Sure, I get upset when the Yankees don't hit, or Syracuse chokes, or Jose Mourinho parks the bus against Liverpool or the Chargers make stupid mistakes or whatever, but it's fleeting and there's a distance to it. The anger is that I, as a spectator, did not see the ending I had hoped for.

But this Boston Globe article made me angry, not sports-fan angry, but actual, want-to-slap-these-people-upside-the-head angry.

"'I hate to hear we’re playing at Evans Field,'” said Patrick Fitzgerald, casting an accusatory glance at the Southie field’s towering lights, beloved by grade schoolers for their power to extend games after dark, dreaded by some parents for the same reason.

“'It’s good for him to be part of a team,'” Fitzgerald said, “'but he also plays hockey, and that is guaranteed one hour, which is kind of nice.'”

Yes, parents are unhappy that their children's Little League games ... take too long.

I don't have kids, but I was a kid once upon a time. And I loved Little League. I loved the games. I loved the practices. My brother's four years younger than me, so his first year in Little League was my last, and I loved his games and practices. I just loved being at the ballfield.

And unless something urgent got in the way, my parents were always at the games, just like they were always at basketball games (mostly mine, even when I wasn't going to play), soccer games (my brother's), concerts (both) and school musicals (my brother's).

They did, because they could.

"As Andover mom Tracey Spruce put it in a Facebook post: 'I love my son dearly, but I have to say that watching a second-grade Little League game may very well be the Tenth Circle of Hell.'”

"Reached by phone before a game, Spruce expanded: 'The kids are picking flowers, and it seems completely disorganized. Let’s say you have a kid who actually gets a hit, then the shortstop misses it, four kids bump into each other. Someone throws it to first base, but it’s an overthrow . . .'”

Does she realize these are little kids? Hold on, and try that again, this time in your best Lewis Black voice, "DOES SHE REALIZE THESE ARE $%@&//* LITTLE KIDS!"

"But as every parent knows, pokey behavior — on the field and off — can be hard to regulate, a reality some parents deal with by doing one, or all, of the following during games: communing with their phones, chatting with other parents (often missing their kids’ at bat), grocery shopping, running home to do laundry.

'You can get stuff done during the game,' Lauren Downey, the mother of two White Sox players, said as she watched Sunday’s game at Evans Field.

'I’ve read a couple of James Patterson books,' said Anne Spence, the mother of a player for the White Sox’ opponents, the Dunkin’ Donuts Mets."

Again, I don't have kids, so I'm sure schedules can be rough ... but from what I understand, that comes with having kids. But apparently, it's too much of a burden on these poor parents to actually watch their children play sports for more than an hour.

And it really, really made me angry to read that.