A Last Honest college basketball preview

I've stayed away from the blog for way too long, but the start of college basketball season is enough to make me blow off the dust.

I love college basketball, especially with the new format where the selection committee chooses the men's Final Four teams. Yes, the tournament was great, especially with games all day and night the first weekend, but football rules, and so why not decide the champion the same way football does? Also, since the champion can be decided in just one weekend, that's more time to concentrate on what really matters -- spring football practice and NFL draft previews. (Every minute Dick Vitale gets on ESPN is one less that Mel Kiper Jr. gets, after all.)

For me, the big question isn't just what four teams the committee picks (Vitale, of course, will have 27 teams in the Final Four), but which team will get the automatic ACC bid. As a Syracuse fan, I obviously hope it's the Orange, but they always seem to find a way to mess up, and it looks like Duke is being tipped as the team to beat in the league this year.

But maybe the ACC will get two. Why not? After all, the league has Duke, Syracuse, North Carolina, Louisville and Virginia, among others, but there are no easy outs in the conference. You try going to any of those arenas and win. In any other league, losing to one of the lesser teams is a huge upset; in the ACC, it's just a testament as to the awesomeness of the league.

What other league can say that? Maybe the Big 10, especially now that they've imported Maryland from the ACC. Perhaps you can pencil the league in for a Final Four spot, but I wouldn't use Seth Davis' Sharpie ... just in case.

I know Kentucky's the top-ranked team in the preseason, they went to the final last year and the Wildcats' end-of-the-bench walk-on is probably a low first-round NBA pick, but other than Florida and Kentucky, the league hasn't been any great shakes lately. Probably the best thing for an SEC resume is a close loss to an ACC team. (There is no truth, however, to the started-by-me rumor that, to keep ratings up, ESPN plans to replay the entire football season on the SEC Network in lieu of basketball, complete with alternate ending in the unlikely event that a team from some other  conference is allowed in the college football playoff and dares to actually win the thing.)

What about UConn? After all, they won the national title last year! Yeah, but did they really deserve it? All they did was win a bunch of games at the end of the year. Big deal! If they were the team in New England worth having and had the sterling academics of a school like North Carolina, the Huskies would be in the ACC and not the American.

At least the American and maybe the Big Ersatz are on the fringes of the conferences good enough to send a team to the Final Four if everything goes right. Those other conferences should feel happy that their champions will be allowed in the NIT, which will continue. After all, the ACC teams not picked for the Final Four need something to do.

(In case you're wondering about the women, will anyone beat UConn? There is the question of this season.)

Let the games begin!

Who are the worst sports fans in America?

Because everything it about brackets this time of year, the folks at Deadspin are running a tournament to find "the bitchiest, most defensive fans in America." Although they have non-sports "regions" as well, I'm going to concentrate on the sports section.

Remember, this is one fan's opinion, and please ... no wagering.

So here we go ...

First round

1. Soccer fans vs 16. Redskins name change people

The people who want the NFL's Washington entry to change its name should be a 16 seed, given that the name is pretty racist, so it's hard to complain that they're too bitchy. Soccer fans aren't a great No. 1 seed either, although I can see a certain indie-band fan vibe among some of them in that they think only the cool, sophisticated people "get it."

I don't see soccer fans going all the way, but I'm not ready to go Harvard-Stanford women yet.

Winner: Soccer fans

8. Boston Red Sox fans vs. 9. NBA basketbloggers

I'm a Yankees fan who lives 15 miles from Boston. Who do you think I'm picking? (Side note, Yankees fans aren't in the tourney because they and Dallas Cowboys fans are dismissed "your standard asshole bandwagon fans." Who has more bandwagon fans than the Boston Red Sox?)

Winner: Boston Red Sox fans

5. Boxing fans vs. 12. MLS fans (distinct from soccer)

Oh, MLS fans, getting their hopes up one day only to have them crushed. They want so bad for their little indie band to make it big. Every tournament has to have its 12 beating a 5, so here you go.

Winner: MLS fans

4. Duke fans vs. 13 Notre Dame fans

This is the annual "committee has a funny sense of humor" contests, but it's really not that close. After Syracuse got a call in the Carrier Dome, Duke fans were complaining about not getting a call.

Let me repeat that ... Duke fans were complaining about not getting a call.

Winner: Duke fans

6. St. Louis Cardinals fans vs. 11. Kobe Bryant fans

From the Deadspin description

"Currently the NBA's best player. RIGHT NOW. AT THIS MOMENT. Even when he's unable to play. Say the word 'Colorado.' Go on. I f---ing dare you."

That'll do.

Winner: Kobe Bryant fans

3. All hockey fans vs. 14. Penn State fans

I wasn't kidding when I wrote that the Paterno dead-enders need to let it go. This isn't a 14 beating a 3; this is a 14 beating a 3 ... by 40.

Winner: Penn State fans

7. Lacrosse players vs. 10. Oakland Raiders fans

Deadspin described lacrosse "as a sport for rich preppy dipshits." Not from my experience. In college, lacrosse players were pretty much the campus psychos, which I say with equal parts fear and admiration. As for Raiders fans, I speak of them with equal parts fear and dislike for their team.

Winner: Oakland Raiders fans

2. Mixed martial arts fans vs. 15. Sabermetricians

I'm still trying to make peace with sabermetricians.

Winner: Mixed martial arts fans

Second round

1. Soccer fans vs. 8. Boston Red Sox fans

Only one of these groups of people loves to remind the world of everyone else's PED use (especially if they wear pinstripes in New York) while ignoring transgressions in their own house.

@LastHonestSport I'll correct it. Send me the link explaining exactly what he too and how long he took it. Thanks.
— Pete Abraham (@PeteAbe) December 15, 2013

And that guy's not a fan ... he's a writer.

Winner: Red Sox fans

4. Duke fans vs. 12. MLS fans

Coach K never gives the officials a hard time. Just ask Duke fans; they'll tell you.

Winner: Duke fans

11. Kobe Bryant fans vs. 14 Penn State fans

The people who think they are the real victims of the Jerry Sandusky scandal cruise to another victory.

Winner: Penn State fans

2. MMA fans vs. 10. Raiders fans

The winners might be too beat up to continue.

Winner: Raiders fans

Semifinals

4. Duke fans vs. 8. Red Sox fans

This could be a pay-per-view main event anywhere in the country, but Duke fans have never questioned my sanity.

Winner: Red Sox fans

10. Raiders fans vs. 14. Penn State fans

"Our football coach got fired because he didn't do anything about the child molester on campus? Let's riot!"

Winner: Penn State fans

Finals

8. Red Sox fans vs. 14. Penn State fans

It should be obvious I don't think much of Red Sox fans. I find them to be bandwagon-jumpers ("lifelong fan since 2004, baby!") who literally think there's something wrong with Yankees fans.

However ...

The whole tournament is built on generalizations, and is pretty tongue-in-cheek. Not all Red Sox fans are obnoxious, and neither are all Duke fans, Kobe fans, MLS fans or any other fans. I even have a lot of friends who root for the Red Sox, and they all insist they never, eeeeevvvveeerrrr chanted "Jeter sucks."

And obviously, many, many ... most Penn State fans are horrified about what happened. Any right-thinking person would be. But that there are any Penn State fans who are any less than horrified gives them the "distinction" of being the worst sports fans in America.

Winner: The idiots among Penn State fans

Stop, ESPN, just stop

I love college basketball.

I love how, even though there are obviously teams favored to win the championship, anyone has a chance to make it to the NCAA Tournament and once there, anyone theoretically has a chance to win. It's better than college football, where the SEC is basically one national semifinal and everyone else is playing for one spot in the championship game. (I also don't have all that much faith in the four-team playoff, as I'm sure within a year that the cry will be for two, three or perhaps all four teams to be from the SEC.)

I wish I had the time and stamina to watch all of ESPN's Tip-Off Marathon, continuing as I write with Virginia Commonwealth against Virginia.

So why am I getting so ticked off?

The centerpiece of the marathon is the Champions Classic doubleheader in Chicago that starts with Kentucky-Michigan State and wraps up with Duke-Kansas. (Given Mrs. Last Honest's sympathies, however, we may wind up watching Florida-Wisconsin, which isn't too shabby, either.)

For the past few days, ESPN's promotion has been grating on me, in that they continually referred to the Duke-Kansas game not as a contest between the Blue Devils and Jayhawks, but between star freshmen Jabari Parker of Duke and Andrew Wiggins of Kansas.

I'm confused by all the @ESPN promos. #Duke and #Kansas are going to be able to play five guys at a time, right? It's not 1-on-1?
— LastHonestSportsFan (@LastHonestSport) November 12, 2013

I still haven't gotten an answer from The Worldwide Leader, but that's not even what has really gotten my goat.

This is.

One big reason you should watch the #ChampionsClassic: 6 of the top 10 in Chad Ford’s NBA Draft Rankings are playing.
— ESPN (@espn) November 13, 2013

I don't know ... how about that four legendary, really good teams with four of the best coaches in the country are playing at a neutral site on Nov. 12 when many of your best teams are content to challenge themselves by playing home games against No-Chance State? There are obviously countless things that could (and likely will) happen between now and then, but it would be no surprise to see these same four teams in Arlington next April.

For God's sake, NBA teams have barely started tanking to get one of those prize draft picks next year, so can we let the players that they're desperately trying to get play a little for the teams they're actually playing for now?

Hey ESPN, if you're so fixated on next year's draft, you might miss some pretty good basketball between now and then.