CBS wants me to think Danny Woodhead = Arian Foster

So I'm watching the Patriots-Jaguars game, and the camera lingers on Patriots running back Danny Woodhead, complete with the announcement that he is only one of two players in the NFL with four rushing touchdowns and two receiving touchdowns this season.

The other? Arian Foster of the Texans.

Not only did the announcer say it, there was a graphic to go along with it. Clearly, the intent was to make me think, "Wow, Danny Woodhead must be really good if he and Arian Foster are the only to backs in the league to do something!"

I'm sure you'll be shocked to know that coming into today's game, Woodhead had ... exactly four rushing touchdowns and two receiving touchdowns. (He caught his third literally as I started typing this.)

As for Foster? He started today with two receiving touchdowns .... and 14 rushing touchdowns.

However, now that I think about it, Woodhead catching a touchdown pass means he's the only back in the NFL with four rushing touchdowns and three receiving touchdowns.

So to heck with Arian Foster or Adrian Peterson (he of no touchdown catches) ... give me Danny Woodhead!

Why I need the 49ers (or the Ravens) to win

I really don't have much use for any combination of the Patriots, Ravens, 49ers or Giants, so whoever wins next week's conference championship games doesn't make much difference to me.

However, on the assumption that the Patriots win (which is obviously not a sure thing by any means), the 49ers absolutely, positively have to win.

Why?

I live outside of Boston, where they're already ready to hand the Vince Lombardi Trophy over to the Patriots. If it's a Giants-Patriots Super Bowl, there will be nothing in the papers, on TV or the radio for two solid weeks other than getting "revenge" for Super Bowl XLII, and it won't take long before the Patriots getting revenge for the Giants costing them their undefeated season turns into "us" getting revenge for the Giants costing "us" "our" perfect season.

Trust me on this one.

Does God care about sports? Has anyone asked?

As we prepare for The Most Important Football Game Ever (at least outside the SEC) tonight, there has been some thought that perhaps the Broncos have a 12th man the likes of which Texas A&M could never summon up.

But for all this talk, there's one thing I haven't seen ... any comments from Him.

You know ... Him.

I understand He's a bit busy these days with His creation and all, but He has lots of representatives down here. Surely there's someone who should be able to hook up a reporter for a quick Q&A with Him. After all, it doesn't have to be a long interview if He doesn't have a lot of time. It could just be one question:

"Do You have anything to do with who wins sporting events?"

Now, if a reporter manages to score this interview, and there is time for something a bit more substantial there are a few more questions I'd suggest:

(If yes to the first question) "Lots of athletes love You, but they can't all win. How do You decide?"

(If no) "Then why do so many people think You do? Is there anything You'd like to tell them?"

 "How do You explain someone being a great player in spite of the absence of 'God-given talent,' or 'You-given talent,' as it were?"

"Did you ever wish Evander Holyfield would just shut his pie hole?"

"Is the BCS a venial or mortal sin?"