Those stupid kids ... screwing it up for their parents

A lot of what passes for "anger" among sports fans is actually passion. Sure, I get upset when the Yankees don't hit, or Syracuse chokes, or Jose Mourinho parks the bus against Liverpool or the Chargers make stupid mistakes or whatever, but it's fleeting and there's a distance to it. The anger is that I, as a spectator, did not see the ending I had hoped for.

But this Boston Globe article made me angry, not sports-fan angry, but actual, want-to-slap-these-people-upside-the-head angry.

"'I hate to hear we’re playing at Evans Field,'” said Patrick Fitzgerald, casting an accusatory glance at the Southie field’s towering lights, beloved by grade schoolers for their power to extend games after dark, dreaded by some parents for the same reason.

“'It’s good for him to be part of a team,'” Fitzgerald said, “'but he also plays hockey, and that is guaranteed one hour, which is kind of nice.'”

Yes, parents are unhappy that their children's Little League games ... take too long.

I don't have kids, but I was a kid once upon a time. And I loved Little League. I loved the games. I loved the practices. My brother's four years younger than me, so his first year in Little League was my last, and I loved his games and practices. I just loved being at the ballfield.

And unless something urgent got in the way, my parents were always at the games, just like they were always at basketball games (mostly mine, even when I wasn't going to play), soccer games (my brother's), concerts (both) and school musicals (my brother's).

They did, because they could.

"As Andover mom Tracey Spruce put it in a Facebook post: 'I love my son dearly, but I have to say that watching a second-grade Little League game may very well be the Tenth Circle of Hell.'”

"Reached by phone before a game, Spruce expanded: 'The kids are picking flowers, and it seems completely disorganized. Let’s say you have a kid who actually gets a hit, then the shortstop misses it, four kids bump into each other. Someone throws it to first base, but it’s an overthrow . . .'”

Does she realize these are little kids? Hold on, and try that again, this time in your best Lewis Black voice, "DOES SHE REALIZE THESE ARE $%@&//* LITTLE KIDS!"

"But as every parent knows, pokey behavior — on the field and off — can be hard to regulate, a reality some parents deal with by doing one, or all, of the following during games: communing with their phones, chatting with other parents (often missing their kids’ at bat), grocery shopping, running home to do laundry.

'You can get stuff done during the game,' Lauren Downey, the mother of two White Sox players, said as she watched Sunday’s game at Evans Field.

'I’ve read a couple of James Patterson books,' said Anne Spence, the mother of a player for the White Sox’ opponents, the Dunkin’ Donuts Mets."

Again, I don't have kids, so I'm sure schedules can be rough ... but from what I understand, that comes with having kids. But apparently, it's too much of a burden on these poor parents to actually watch their children play sports for more than an hour.

And it really, really made me angry to read that.

The game is the thing ... at least FIFA hopes so

If you've seen John Oliver's epic "Last Week Tonight" segment on the horribleness that is FIFA (and if you haven't, it's right there ... watch it), you know that before and after he lays out in great detail just how horrible FIFA is, he says he's incredibly excited for the World Cup.
He presents it as a conundrum ... loving an event while knowing the people in charge of it are loathsome. But it's not really that much of a conundrum, and it's not something that can be ascribed to the "religious" aspects of soccer.
After all, the most-popular sport in this country is one in which we are learning more and more that its participants are maiming themselves for our enjoyment, but woe unto anyone who tries to do anything about it, or even say it's happening.
In March and early April, millions of people may actually stop obsessing over the spectacle that is the self-maiming to watch a basketball tournament in which the "student-athletes" miss days of classes to play for the championship of an organization that believes the players can receive an education at the school they play for and absolutely nothing else, even as the billions keep rolling in.
And earlier this year, the youth of the world gathered to compete in a country run by a man who could generously be described as perhaps a bit autocratic, and not only did people complain when one of the television hosts of that event dared to bring it up (because, you know, he said something about guns once), they complained when they couldn't see those competitions as they happened.
This is sports. This is what sports does. We want our games, and absent something truly catastrophic (stadiums falling in, natural disasters, people dying), we don't want anything to intrude on them. Yes, sports provide a welcome distraction from whatever crap is going on in the world, and my good friend Cy Nical would tell you that's especially true for people who don't want to have to think about anything.
But it's not just that. Lots of people are perfectly capable of understanding the real world and its implications on sports, who know that the NFL, NCAA, Vladimir Putin's Russia and the International Olympic Committee that awarded this year's Winter Olympics to him are flawed, at best, but we still love the games.
Why?
Because they're fun!
In just this World Cup alone, there are so many questions, and it's going to be so much fun to see them be answered? Will the United States get out of group play, and if not, will Landon Donovan be able to restrain himself from shouting "I told you so!" on air?
Will Spain be able to defend its title, or will Brazil lift the trophy on home soil? Or will Lionel Messi become the hero for Argentina that he is for Barcelona and lead his country to glory? Will Luis Suarez and Cristiano Ronaldo be able to play? If so, how effective will they be? 
How will England mess it up this time, and who will be blamed when they do? Will it be Roy Hodgson? Wayne Rooney? Steven Gerrard? The guy who missed the key penalty kick in the shootout?
Those are the ones I came up with off the top of my head. I'm sure there are a lot of others people far better-versed in the World Cup could come up with.
So enjoy the games. Just don't be blind about it.

Where the Yankees got it all wrong

I see a lot of #firecashman these days on Twitter when I'm watching a Yankees game. It is frustrating these days, with the Yankees bumping along at 29-28, five games out of first place and looking like the very symbol of mediocrity or worse, with a run differential of minus-26.

Yes, Derek Jeter's swan song could be a pretty miserable year, so wanting to get rid of general manager Brian Cashman is an unsurprising way to lash out. After all, he did such horrible things in the offseason like disrespecting Robinson Cano by only offering seven years and $175 million.

If that was Cashman's only terrible move, it would be one thing ... but no, he had to make it worse by signing Jacoby Ellsbury (.298/.355/.426, nine home runs, 53 RBI, 52 steals) and Carlos Beltran (.296/.339/.491, 24 home runs, 84 RBI) to replace Vernon Wells (.233/.282/.349, 11 homers, 50 RBI), Ichiro (although he's still around as a part-time player -- .262/.297/.342, seven homers, 35 RBI) and Curtis Granderson (.229/.317/.407, seven homers, 15 RBI in 61 games. In 56 games with the Mets this year, his numbers are .212/.323/.354 with six homers and 27 RBI).

So Cashman clearly screwed up the outfield by getting two good players to replace three not-so-good ones. Then he had to turn around and sign Brian McCann (.256/.336/.461, 20 homers, 57 RBI) to catch instead of, among others, Chris Stewart (.211/.293/.272, four homers, 25 RBI). Yes, yes, I know they should have never let Russell Martin (.226/.327/.377, 15 homers, 55 RBI with Pittsburgh) go, since he was obviously Thurman Munson reincarnated.

And he had the nerve to think that a healthier Derek Jeter, even approaching 40, would be better than ... who played shortstop for the Yankees last year when Jeter was out? Who didn't? I personally enjoy all the love for Brendan Ryan, who's a wonderful fielder but for his career would be a good-hitting National League pitcher (.238/.299/.320).

Remember the Lyle Overbay Experience ... the .242/.295/393 with 14 home runs and 59 RBI? For a guy signed off the street in spring training, he actually didn't do too badly, but Cashman had the nerve to let him go in favor of a theoretically healthy Mark Teixeira.

(By the way, I got all my numbers from here if you want to look yourself.)

I know I'm no general manager, but by the looks of it, on paper the Yankees improved in left field (since Ellsbury allowed Brett Gardner to move to left), right field, first base, catcher, shortstop and designated hitter (either Alfonso Soriano or Soriano and Ichiro in a platoon instead of the fossilized remains of Travis Hafner or whatever other player was getting a partial day off).

Second base was a loss, a big loss, and I don't know how to judge third base.

But Cashman needs to be fired because:

• Ellsbury, McCann and Beltran haven't been that good, and Beltran has gotten hurt.
• Teixeira and Jeter clearly aren't all the way back, and Teixeira has been hurt.
• Soriano has been Soriano, which means he may hit a bunch of home runs any day now, but there will be multiple games in a row where it's a triumph for him to make contact.
• And oh by the way, C.C. Sabathia's transition to an old pitcher is now complete.

But they're cheap! Kendrys Morales! Make trades!

Yes, a $203 million payroll is practically Houston Astros-like. Clearly, they should have used more money on another first baseman/DH who's so good that he's still unemployed today (although, to be fair, the draft pick attached has a lot to do with that). And they can trade for more stars with their ... virtually non-existent farm system.

I can't stress the last point enough, and if you want to rip Cashman and the Yankees' front office for this, go ahead; I'll be right there with you. What player in the Yankees minor-league system is ready to be an everyday, contributing player in the major leagues right now? In 2015? In 2016? Whenever Gary Sanchez finally arrives? (I swear, for a catcher who's only 21, it seems like I've been hearing about Sanchez for about 10 years.)

Or would you rather trade Dellin Betances, who actually is homegrown (Congratulations Yankees, you got one!) and has been a revelation out of the bullpen?

Let me put it to you this way. It looks like the Red Sox have lost all faith in Will Middlebrooks, and he's likely to go down in history as the guy who got his girlfriend canned from her TV job. He's 25 years old, and if for some reason he wound up in New York (slim and no chance), he'd be the best young player in their organization right now.

So aside from presiding over a terrible farm system, Cashman's biggest mistake is that the players he signed, who were good players just last year, haven't worked out.

By all means, fire him for that.