Stuff shouldn't matter this much

I came home from work the other night to bizarre message on Facebook from a friend of mine, apologizing for something he wrote during a baseball discussion, that he was having a bad day and shouldn't have taken it out on me.

I literally had no idea what he was talking about.

Actually, I knew what he was talking about, as he was taking part in some trash-talking I was doing with my Red Sox fan friends over the previous week. They were all happy that the Red Sox beat the Yankees a few games, delaying when the Yankees clinched the wild card, and then when the Astros beat the Yankees in the wild card game.

I asked if they enjoyed their team's third last-place finish in four years, with one fluke World Series thrown in (which I called the "Jonas Gray" baseball season because Gray was a scrub who had one great moment). I told them the Yankees would have trouble making tee times after being eliminated because the Red Sox took all the good ones in July, and said the next thing Red Sox fans had to look forward to was Dave O'Brien welcoming them to spring training. (O'Brien replacing Don Orsillo as the Red Sox NESN play-by-play man is both an injustice and a serious thing around these parts, so the reference was hitting way below the belt.)

But even though I think very little of Red Sox fans as a whole, I knew this was just friends giving each other crab, and didn't find any of it offensive, certainly not offensive enough to block my friend (which I didn't know I had done) and then him unfriending me. Blocks were undone, friend status re-established and everythng is cool now.

Always remember folks ... it's only sports. Nothing wrong with throwing yourself into it, but it's not that important in the grand scheme of most of our lives.

* * * * *

Guys, we really need to get over ourselves.

Yes, Jessica Mendoza called the Astros-Yankees game. If you think she analyzes poorly, fine. Maybe she makes bad points, and doesn't know a lot about the game but tries to sound like a know-it-all ... wait, sorry , just had Harold Reynolds on the brain because I saw him do an ad for the MLB At Bat app, saying it's where he gets his information from. Personally, I'd hate to see how uninformed Reynolds is if he didn't have that app.

But I digress.

Jessica Mendoza doing color commentary isn't going to ruin a game because she's a woman, in spite of what some idiots were saying on Twitter, which Molly Knight did a fine job of recording. No one will have to give up his man card for listening, and it won't do any damage to any of the various parts of our anatomy.

I promise.

* * * * *

"First of all I hope your entire family contracts HIV."

The article on the health problems faced by ESPN NFL reporter Ed Werder's daughter and son-in-law is a tough read, even without what the idiot Patriots fan wrote to Werder after he defended Chris Mortensen's Deflategate reporting.

However, while I think Deflategate severed the last bit of the twine tethering most Patriots fans to both humility and rationality, I'm not writing this to pick on them, because who knows if this person even knew of Werder's family situation?

And it could have been a fan of any team who was upset about anything, because apparently, wishing disease on a person's family is what you do.

Just ... stop.

It's the Baseball Hall of Fame ... that should be enough

A shrine for everyone to see.

Kevin Paul Dupont has a story in the Boston Globe about the Baseball Hall of Fame, specifically that there's so much Red Sox-related stuff there that it justifies a Boston fan going. 

"It would be virtually impossible for a true Boston fan not to fall immediately into a state of awe and wonder over all the Hall’s offerings specific to the Sox. It blends the good and the bad, the splendor and the horror, including exhibit odes to such icons as Cy Young, Babe Ruth, and (Ted) Williams, along with other greats such as Carl Yastrzemski, Bobby Doerr, Carlton Fisk, Jim Rice, and others."

'“It’s not unusual to see adults walking around in baseball uniforms here,'’’ said (Hall of Fame president Jeff) Idelson, noting the Hall’s ability not only to turn back time, but turn adults into kids. 'It’s like you or me going out on Halloween and wearing our Carl Yastrzemski Little League uniform. Hey, this is the place to do it. This is the ultimate fantasy camp for baseball.'

Especially for those who wear their Red Sox."

People actually sent this stuff to Jackie Robinson

My first thought was that here was another parochial Boston piece, because it seems that nothing in this town matters at all unless there's some sort of local connection. Not that localizing a story isn't common in the media, and there is an obvious Red Sox connection with Pedro Martinez being enshrined in the Hall of Fame soon, but to my mind, there are some things that shouldn't require a local hook.

But then again, the night of the Kentucky Derby, it was one of the lead stories on a local newscast, not because it was the Kentucky Derby, but because a bunch of Patriots players partied there!

I met Nolan Ryan in the days before he was enshrined. You can imagine how I felt about this.

Then I had a second thought -- what if this wasn't yet another sign of Boston parochialism, but another sign of what we've become as sports fans?

We live in a world where more sports are available than ever before ... until the next thing that happens to make even more available. As a whole, this is, of course, awesome. However, I think a side effect is that you don't actually have to be a fan of a sport anymore; you can be a fan of a team.

Baseball seems especially vulnerable in this regard. Thanks to regional sports networks, which draw big ratings even as national ratings are low, and MLB.TV, most people can watch all 162 games of their favorite team (unless you're a Dodgers fan in Los Angeles, which is cruel, because you miss out on Vin Scully).

I even find myself mostly watching Yankees game these days, even with my online package.

Pete Rose is in the Hall of Fame, even if he's not. (And I think he will be eventually.)

But none of that should matter, whether you devour all the baseball you can or stick to one team. It's the Baseball Hall of Fame ... just go.

Do you know what you'll be doing an August weekend five years from now? He does.

The dumbest stories in sports (Part 1)

Let me make this one really simple:

1. Jacoby Ellsbury was an important player for the Boston Red Sox.

2. Jacoby Ellsbury left the Boston Red Sox to join the New York Yankees, and took more money to do so.

3. Red Sox fans booed Jacoby Ellsbury last night when he came back to Boston for the first time.

This was always going to happen, and will happen every time Ellsbury goes back to Boston the rest of his career. (Here's to hoping Red Sox fans consult their dictionaries before it happens again.) There was no point speculating whether it was going to happen. There was no point commenting on it when it did happen.

There was actually no point in criticizing Red Sox fans who did it. I don't agree with it, and won't be booing Robinson Cano when I see the Yankees play the Mariners at Yankee Stadium next week, but all the criticism in the world won't change it.

And there will be no point in commenting on it when it happens in the future.

Who are the worst sports fans in America?

Because everything it about brackets this time of year, the folks at Deadspin are running a tournament to find "the bitchiest, most defensive fans in America." Although they have non-sports "regions" as well, I'm going to concentrate on the sports section.

Remember, this is one fan's opinion, and please ... no wagering.

So here we go ...

First round

1. Soccer fans vs 16. Redskins name change people

The people who want the NFL's Washington entry to change its name should be a 16 seed, given that the name is pretty racist, so it's hard to complain that they're too bitchy. Soccer fans aren't a great No. 1 seed either, although I can see a certain indie-band fan vibe among some of them in that they think only the cool, sophisticated people "get it."

I don't see soccer fans going all the way, but I'm not ready to go Harvard-Stanford women yet.

Winner: Soccer fans

8. Boston Red Sox fans vs. 9. NBA basketbloggers

I'm a Yankees fan who lives 15 miles from Boston. Who do you think I'm picking? (Side note, Yankees fans aren't in the tourney because they and Dallas Cowboys fans are dismissed "your standard asshole bandwagon fans." Who has more bandwagon fans than the Boston Red Sox?)

Winner: Boston Red Sox fans

5. Boxing fans vs. 12. MLS fans (distinct from soccer)

Oh, MLS fans, getting their hopes up one day only to have them crushed. They want so bad for their little indie band to make it big. Every tournament has to have its 12 beating a 5, so here you go.

Winner: MLS fans

4. Duke fans vs. 13 Notre Dame fans

This is the annual "committee has a funny sense of humor" contests, but it's really not that close. After Syracuse got a call in the Carrier Dome, Duke fans were complaining about not getting a call.

Let me repeat that ... Duke fans were complaining about not getting a call.

Winner: Duke fans

6. St. Louis Cardinals fans vs. 11. Kobe Bryant fans

From the Deadspin description

"Currently the NBA's best player. RIGHT NOW. AT THIS MOMENT. Even when he's unable to play. Say the word 'Colorado.' Go on. I f---ing dare you."

That'll do.

Winner: Kobe Bryant fans

3. All hockey fans vs. 14. Penn State fans

I wasn't kidding when I wrote that the Paterno dead-enders need to let it go. This isn't a 14 beating a 3; this is a 14 beating a 3 ... by 40.

Winner: Penn State fans

7. Lacrosse players vs. 10. Oakland Raiders fans

Deadspin described lacrosse "as a sport for rich preppy dipshits." Not from my experience. In college, lacrosse players were pretty much the campus psychos, which I say with equal parts fear and admiration. As for Raiders fans, I speak of them with equal parts fear and dislike for their team.

Winner: Oakland Raiders fans

2. Mixed martial arts fans vs. 15. Sabermetricians

I'm still trying to make peace with sabermetricians.

Winner: Mixed martial arts fans

Second round

1. Soccer fans vs. 8. Boston Red Sox fans

Only one of these groups of people loves to remind the world of everyone else's PED use (especially if they wear pinstripes in New York) while ignoring transgressions in their own house.

@LastHonestSport I'll correct it. Send me the link explaining exactly what he too and how long he took it. Thanks.
— Pete Abraham (@PeteAbe) December 15, 2013

And that guy's not a fan ... he's a writer.

Winner: Red Sox fans

4. Duke fans vs. 12. MLS fans

Coach K never gives the officials a hard time. Just ask Duke fans; they'll tell you.

Winner: Duke fans

11. Kobe Bryant fans vs. 14 Penn State fans

The people who think they are the real victims of the Jerry Sandusky scandal cruise to another victory.

Winner: Penn State fans

2. MMA fans vs. 10. Raiders fans

The winners might be too beat up to continue.

Winner: Raiders fans

Semifinals

4. Duke fans vs. 8. Red Sox fans

This could be a pay-per-view main event anywhere in the country, but Duke fans have never questioned my sanity.

Winner: Red Sox fans

10. Raiders fans vs. 14. Penn State fans

"Our football coach got fired because he didn't do anything about the child molester on campus? Let's riot!"

Winner: Penn State fans

Finals

8. Red Sox fans vs. 14. Penn State fans

It should be obvious I don't think much of Red Sox fans. I find them to be bandwagon-jumpers ("lifelong fan since 2004, baby!") who literally think there's something wrong with Yankees fans.

However ...

The whole tournament is built on generalizations, and is pretty tongue-in-cheek. Not all Red Sox fans are obnoxious, and neither are all Duke fans, Kobe fans, MLS fans or any other fans. I even have a lot of friends who root for the Red Sox, and they all insist they never, eeeeevvvveeerrrr chanted "Jeter sucks."

And obviously, many, many ... most Penn State fans are horrified about what happened. Any right-thinking person would be. But that there are any Penn State fans who are any less than horrified gives them the "distinction" of being the worst sports fans in America.

Winner: The idiots among Penn State fans

Confessions of a bad fan

So ... some stuff happened in the Yankees-Red Sox game last night.



This nutter from Joe Giradi is one of the best I've ever seen. Joe
Torre would have sat on his behind and hoped the power of his
calm would make everything stop.

From that moment on, I wanted the Yankees to get even, even if it meant CC Sabathia would have been immediately thrown out, thanks to the stupid way umpires implement the warning rule, which has the effect of giving one team a free shot ... or two, or three, or four.

CC, don't waste your ejection on some scrub. See if you can hit one of Ortiz's needle marks. Plenty of targets! #Yankees #RedSox
— LastHonestSportsFan (@LastHonestSport) August 19, 2013

I've made my thoughts on David Ortiz known more than once (and had a heated chat with my Red Sox fan mother-in-law about it over lunch yesterday), so I'll spare another rant. Instead, I'll leave it to The Captain's Blog.

I'd love to know what Ortiz thinks when he sees how Arod is treated. Wonder if "there but for the grace of the media go I" crosses his mind.
— The Captain's Blog (@williamnyy23) August 19, 2013

I shouldn't be proud of wanting to see a player I don't like on a team I don't like getting hit by a pitch and being upset when it didn't happen. (Even though I understand there really was no right time during the rest of the game to do it, I'm a believer that if you wait until the "right time," that time may never come up.)

But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was when, during the middle of the game, I turned to Mrs. Last Honest and said ...

"I don't even care if the Yankees win this game. I just want to see Ortiz get hit." 

Yes, I prioritized retaliation over winning a game, a game that would have won a series over the Yankees' bitter rivals, at a time of the season when the Yankees need every win they can get. Mrs. Last Honest didn't really say much of anything, but I could tell by the look on her face that she thought I had lost my mind.

And I kind of had. In that moment, I became the guy I hate, the guy I wrote about at the end of the game, when the Yankees were on their way to victory.

Just so you know, #RedSox fans won't care if they lose this game. A-Rod got drilled. That's all that matters. #Yankees
— LastHonestSportsFan (@LastHonestSport) August 19, 2013

I'll try to be better next time.

The trap Alex Rodriguez should avoid

Thanks to Buster Olney, I learned this morning that Bob Klapisch was concern-trolling about Alex Rodriguez, writing that if Alex Rodriguez really loves baseball, he would just confess about steroids and Biogenesis. (Given the use of quotation marks in Klapisch's tweet linking to the column, I'm inclined to believe he thinks A-Rod is full of it ... surprise, surprise, surprise.)

On A-Rod and his "love" for the game. http://t.co/3wz26qMYW4
— Bob Klapisch (@BobKlap) July 21, 2013

To Klapisch, and anyone who agrees with him, I say "Screw that" and "Why should he?"

If Alex Rodriguez sat down with a reporter tomorrow and came clean about everything -- the steroids between 2001 and 2003, anything he might have done since then, Biogenesis, all of it -- would it help him? Would baseball fans and media say, "Wow, that Alex Rodriguez is really a stand-up guy! Good for him! I hope Bud Selig takes it easy on him now."

Ummmm...no.

Alex Rodriguez will continue to the the pure embodiment of All That Is Wrong With Baseball, which he has been not since he admitted to taking steroids, but since he had the unmitigated gall to sign the contract that Tom Hicks offered him in 2000.

Unlike someone like Andy Pettitte or Jason Giambi -- who Klapisch cited as a role model for Rodriguez to follow, conveniently forgetting that Giambi's saving grace was not the admission, but people liking him -- between the steroids, the amazing ability to step on whatever rake he can find (this being but one example) and his postseason troubles (see below), he is hated enough so that his reputation will never recover.

As for a-rod's readiness, he appears to be in postseason form. today 3 strikeouts in 4 at-bats
— Jon Heyman (@JonHeymanCBS) July 21, 2013

Remember, this is a guy who got ripped by his own team for saying he was ready to play games again.

Visit from Dr. Kelly over the weekend, who gave me the best news - the green light to play games again! http://t.co/RuzfXOJjHI
— Alex Rodriguez (@AROD) June 25, 2013

I also found this note in Klapisch's column revealing.

"In his heart, however, A-Rod knows exactly why Selig is obsessed with excising him. It’s because Rodriguez was once christened as the game’s savior, clean and hardworking, the very medicine baseball needed after Barry Bonds ensured the game’s Holy Grail – the all-time home run record – was fraudulent."

And if you think that's just my opinion and people will forgive Rodriguez if he just admits to what he did, let me remind you that he did it once before, and it got him nowhere.

Meanwhile, you have Ken Rosenthal carrying on the idiocy that people really shouldn't judge David Ortiz for having been on the list of players testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, a benefit of the doubt that no one on the list has gotten because Ortiz is well-liked.

Re: Ortiz. Tested positive at time when there were no penalties for PEDs. Tests were supposed to be confidential. I view him less harshly.
— Ken Rosenthal (@Ken_Rosenthal) July 20, 2013

Folks, I know I may be splitting hairs on Ortiz. He never admitted to PED use, unlike some others. Just view his circumstances as different.
— Ken Rosenthal (@Ken_Rosenthal) July 20, 2013

Let me rephrase that: Ortiz did not admit to intentional PED use. And players were less vigilant then, with no penalties in place.
— Ken Rosenthal (@Ken_Rosenthal) July 20, 2013

Last thing on Ortiz: I respect all opinions on this. Hard to know what is right, what is wrong. I don’t pretend to have all the answers.
— Ken Rosenthal (@Ken_Rosenthal) July 21, 2013

Why Ortiz’s positive test and others in 2003 cannot be viewed as definitive. It’s complicated, but read this story. http://t.co/cc5942qAU1
— Ken Rosenthal (@Ken_Rosenthal) July 21, 2013

Again, I respect everyone’s opinions. But there were issues with 2003 list that could not be explained in 140 characters. Story helps.
— Ken Rosenthal (@Ken_Rosenthal) July 21, 2013

I have an idea. Alex Rodriguez should confess what he did (again, by the way) when David Ortiz confesses to what he did.

Which means it will never happen.

Thoughts of Boston ... a week later

There's a woman who works in my office a couple days a week when it's more convenient for her than working in her own office. She has a desk that she uses, and we like having her around.

So it was a little odd when I heard her sounding a bit harried on the phone last Monday, to the point where she seemed pretty upset. At the same time, I happened to be checking out Twitter when I saw the headline ...

... There had been explosions at the Boston Marathon.

* * * * *

Not to get all Kevin Bacon, but as much as the Boston Marathon is obviously both a Boston event (they even hold it as part of a local holiday, Patriots' Day) and now one of the world's major marathons, it's a local event in almost all of the cities and towns in Massachusetts because most everyone is within a few degrees of someone who runs it. The closest I ever came was the year a co-worker of mine ran. It's also the only year I've followed the marathon all that closely, because I wanted to see how she was doing.

There was the woman running to raise money for the local hospital where she had surgery the year before, and the cop who ran in support of a local cancer patient.

And there was my sometime office-mate, whose sister's boyfriend was running.

Those were the people, and their families, and their friends, and their co-workers, who the bombers were after. They weren't just attacking the marathon; they were attacking us.

The explosions not only killed three and injured scores of others (a MIT police officer was also killed in a shootout with the suspects), but they frightened everyone and set off a series of frantic phone calls and text messages all across the state. All the people I've mentioned and their families were OK; obviously, many people were not.

And not only does almost everyone in Massachusetts have some connection to the marathon, lots of people know someone in or near Boston. It would have never occurred to me that anyone would have thought Mrs. Last Honest or I were in danger, since my office is 15 to 20 miles away, and my wife's work, which is near the marathon route, was closed for the holiday. (Side note: I won't be giving her grief about Patriots' Day for a while.)

But when I got home, there were messages on my Facebook page from a couple of my high school friends asking if we were OK, so I not only assured them that we were fine, I posted a general message saying we were fine.

But again, too many people didn't get to say that.

* * * * *

I'm not sure if there are two major American cities (I said major, so sit down Tuscaloosa and Auburn, AL) as defined by a sporting rivalry as much as New York and Boston, especially on the Boston end. Maybe Manchester and Liverpool, Madrid and Barcelona or another soccer rivalry elsewhere in the world can make that claim, but I don't know if it exists here.

So that's why, even though all the expressions of support after the bombing were heartfelt and sincere, I think they meant a bit extra coming from New York, because it was the home of the Yankees reaching out to the home of the Red Sox.

And then the Yankees decided to play "Sweet Caroline." As far as audible tributes from one city to another, one fanbase to another goes, it was hard to top.


As a Yankees fan who lives near Boston, I could hardly have been prouder of my team.

* * * * *

I'm not a big fan of Rene Rancourt, the Boston Bruins' national anthem singer. His enthusiasm and love for what he does is unmatched, but I just don't think he's that good a singer.

However, when I tuned in to the first Bruins game after the bombing, I figured Rancourt would deliver a stemwinder of a national anthem and pump his fist about 16 times, and I'd be OK with that. If ever a situation called for it, it was this one.

What he did though, was so much cooler. And he got how important it was.

* * * * *

I'm writing this from a hotel room in Concord, NC, where my wife and I are on vacation. (In another side note, we were in San Diego when Whitey Bulger was captured and in Asheville, NC, when Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was arrested for his alleged role in the marathon bombing. If authorities are looking to make an arrest in the Gardner Museum heist, Mrs. Last Honest and I have a hankering to go to London.)

So I missed David Ortiz's speech at Fenway.

I am not ... let me repeat, AM NOT ... a David Ortiz fan. But his speech? Perfect, f-bomb and all.

* * * * *

I think that people who write and talk about sports tend to give them too much credit. The Saints winning the Super Bowl didn't fix New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. The Yankees going to the World Series didn't heal all of the pain after 9/11, and the Tigers weren't going to save Detroit during the auto crisis.

And there's no number of "Sweet Caroline" or national anthem singalongs or anything else at a sporting event that will heal the wounded bodies or souls in Boston, although I would love to see some type of event where the runner who didn't get to finish the marathon could cross the finish line.

But do sports help in some way? Maybe because it happened so close to where I live, I've realized more than ever that they can.

Youk to the Yanks? Why not?

Ken Tremendous had this to say on the Twitter machine yesterday.

@KenTremendous The great thing about Youk to the Yankees is imagining how much both Sox fans and Yankees fans would hate it.

So yes, it appears that the Yankees have some interest in signing Kevin Youkilis to play third base while Alex Rodriguez is out after knee surgery. And while Ken may be thinking that Red Sox fans would hate it because Youkilis is a Yankee while Yankees fans may hate it because Youk is over the hill, I'm going to guess he meant Yankees fans would hate the idea of him in their uniform.

To get a highly unscientific feel of how my fellow Yankees fans feel about the possibility, I consulted the Yankees Facebook page I follow, and these were some of the comments. (False equivalency alert -- I did not count to see how many of the 644 comments were pro-Youkilis or anti-Youkilis. I'm only listing certain comments to show that there were people who liked or disliked the idea.)

 "Good player .I think he would be a good fit."

"Even though he is a former Blow Sux, he is a gamer and would help while A-rod is on the mend. Look at what former Red Sox have done for us in the past."

"Might have to quit watching for first time ever..........besides he's old and mean"

"no!no!no!no! My most hated Red Sox player!!! Nooooooooo!"

There were also a couple people who like the idea because Youkilis is Jewish, which immediately made me think of this.


So how do I feel? It's pretty simple.If Youkilis can help the team, I hope the Yankees sign him. If not, I hope they don't.

I couldn't care less if Youkilis played for the Red Sox. I accepted Roger Clemens. I accepted Wade Boggs. I accepted Johnny Damon. A couple years ago, Mrs. Last Honest asked me how I would feel if Jonathan Papelbon signed with the Yankees. I told her I'd learn how to dance a jig.


The one Red Sox player who I could never have abided as a Yankee was Jason Varitek. There's no way I could have tolerated a man beloved in Boston for a cheap shot being in pinstripes.

Other than that, it doesn't matter who someone played for before New York. I only care about what they do in New York.

Ken Harrelson is the most-biased announcer ... duh!

So the folks at the Wall Street Journal decided to do themselves a little study, and determined that Chicago White Sox TV broadcasts are the most-biased in Major League Baseball, largely because of Ken "Hawk" Harrelson.

They might as well have booked me to fight both Klitschko brothers in the same day, because the result would be as much of a foregone conclusion.


But the worst part isn't even that Harrelson is biased. It's that he's terrible. Maybe because I was young and stupid and didn't know any better, but I swear he was better doing Yankees games in the late 1980s and the White Sox in the 1990s with Tom Paciorek. He probably was just as biased, but he was entertaining and actually provided knowledge about the game.

Now, however, the game is basically ways to fill time between "Stretch!" "You can put it on the board ... YES!" "He gone" and other set pieces.






The chart isn't the easiest to read (copying off a webpage isn't the easiest), but tied there in the seventh spot are Nationals announcers Bob Carpenter and F.P. Santangelo. I saw some games between the Phillies and Nationals earlier this year, plus the interleague series with the Yankees, and I didn't really detect much bias ... although that may have been because I was wondering how anyone so incompetent could be allowed in a broadcast booth.

And there at the bottom are the Yankees broadcast team of Michael Kay and his cast of thousands and the Red Sox team of Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo. In spite of my own personal Yankees bias, it's a fair ranking. Orsillo and Remy usually give a straightforward, honest call (Dennis Eckersley in the studio is a bonus), and the Yankees crew does the same. I actually find them a bit bland at times. Maybe they have to be to make up for John Sterling, who is biased, horrible and anything but bland in the radio booth.